There’s a “wrong” one?

Something went down the wrong throat tube.

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Happy holidays 

It’s like Christmas in my mouth. 

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They all look weird.

“That’s kind of a weird bag.”

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I disagree.

“Not everything in the dark is fun.”

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Yes. Yes, I do.

Do you wanna see my box of goodies?

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Self-destruct button?

“You let me know when it’s up.”
“You could push the button, if you want.”

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In your private time…

I only have one hand free, because the other’s on the phone.

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That’s the best kind!

I don’t smoke a lot of meat either.

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Or ANY kid, for that matter.

You don’t want your kid playing with me.

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