So lonely

“Does anyone else want to touch me?”

 (1)

Had to be a curved one

“It wouldn’t allow me to upload any dick.”

 (0)

#DancingWeiner

“It’s like the weiner’s dancing!”

 (0)

They’re preserved

“It’s a big bag of balls right beside my desk.”

 (0)

Adulting

“I’m an adult. I don’t have time for this nonsense.”

 (0)

Little people

“Do you ever watch that ‘Tiny House’ show?”
“Like, for midgets?”

 (0)

Cat porn

“I’m marking this a zero. Her cat titties are showing.”

 (0)

Only one way to go

“This looks better than ass.”

 (0)

Maybe a stick, too?

“I gotta stop walking around with nuts in my hand.”

 (0)

Stare into them

“When you get a massage, are your eyes open!?”

 (0)

… and then?

“After we fixed the toilet, we had a shower.”

 (0)

20×9

“I just pulled out my ruler and measured.”

 (0)