Sounds painful

“I just did some pickle surgery.”

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Learning

“I think that’s probably the right place to put it.”

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Hard pass

“Hey Kevin, do you wanna smell it?”

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Gross

“See? This is why I haven’t cleaned my washroom yet!”

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Why else would you?

“I can’t believe you stalked someone based on their shorts.”

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Celebrate good times, come on!

*throws hands in air*
“I finally get to sleep with a guy!”

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Education

“I appreciate this conversation, because I did not know that women have smaller balls than men.”

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And not video taped

“All your forking should be private.”

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She’s happy now

“I already gave her a pickle, dammit!”
“It was the best pickle I ever had.”

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Is girth a thing?

“Oh, you mean physically bigger, not longer.”

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Three times a day, bro

“When was the last time you pulled?”

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It puts the lotion in the basket…

“Is it weird that every time you wear those pants, I wanna try them on?”

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Same goes for skyscrapers

“You wanna get websites built? You give us kielbasa and cheese.”

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