It’ll help

“No, it was just a little bit for the moisture.”

 (0)

Worst kind of stripper

“I run it through a markup stripper.”

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He won’t save you

“I need to go to church, like right now.”

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Gotta keep up the heritage

“He comes from a long line of picklers.”

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Sounds painful

“I just did some pickle surgery.”

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Learning

“I think that’s probably the right place to put it.”

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Hard pass

“Hey Kevin, do you wanna smell it?”

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Gross

“See? This is why I haven’t cleaned my washroom yet!”

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Why else would you?

“I can’t believe you stalked someone based on their shorts.”

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Celebrate good times, come on!

*throws hands in air*
“I finally get to sleep with a guy!”

 (0)

Education

“I appreciate this conversation, because I did not know that women have smaller balls than men.”

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And not video taped

“All your forking should be private.”

 (0)

She’s happy now

“I already gave her a pickle, dammit!”
“It was the best pickle I ever had.”

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Is girth a thing?

“Oh, you mean physically bigger, not longer.”

 (0)