They’re frisky

“You should get yourself some sea monkeys.”

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Enjoy the nightmares

“They’re so cute until you chop their hands off.”

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Are they salted?

“I’ve had my nuts sitting here all week and he hasn’t even tasted them yet.”

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Get in

“So, I need a husband-sized crate, not a kid-sized crate?”

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Man cry

“I don’t think you’ve come of age until you cry on a mountain.”

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Hanging meat

“Maybe I can turn my living room into a slaughterhouse.”

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Touch it

“Will you come touch salads for a minute?”

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For the dog?

“Does anyone in this room have secret peanut butter in their desk?”

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Leave my banana alone

“I’ll carve it into your banana.”

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Poor goose

“I’ll take it out on the goose.”

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So lonely

“Does anyone else want to touch me?”

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Had to be a curved one

“It wouldn’t allow me to upload any dick.”

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#DancingWeiner

“It’s like the weiner’s dancing!”

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