Ever!?

That’s why I don’t touch it anymore.

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The Golden Rule.

That’s why you have to just enter it in the moment.

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Mucho burrito.

Which size of burrito matches the taco?

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That’s all you need

Just give it a pull, and then you should be all good.

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What’s old is new!

The back is the new front, baby!

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Workplace hazards

Someone hot-dogged you in the face?

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Gladly.

I’ll swing by around 2:00 and you can fill me in.

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What are you, Bill Cosby!?

Ok well, number one, she’d be knocked out and I’d be gone by the time she woke up.

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Two pumps and an apology.

It’s like I came in there prematurely.

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Need me to bring Kleenex?

I just need to ask you something while my finger is stuck to the screen.

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#DumbInTheDark

I’m smarter when it’s brighter.

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It’s true though

It’s just too much to shove it all in your mouth.

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With mayo?

Something something, giant man sandwich.

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